all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
