Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
