jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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