I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
