I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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