I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
