you would pick up someone in the library
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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