More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
