Just cropdusted the office
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
