Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
