Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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