he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
