Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
