Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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