and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
