sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
