I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
