Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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