I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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