Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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