Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
