i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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