I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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