She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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