me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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