covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
