That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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