did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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