Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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