I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
