Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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