Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
