He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.