I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw