therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
