You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
