now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
