Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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