Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize