Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
