At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
