She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
