Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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