So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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