i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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