I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
