He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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