You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is it penis luge time yet?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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