I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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