im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
