Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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