I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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