Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
