brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I cockslap morals
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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