your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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