so that wasnt chicken after all
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
