Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
