what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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