So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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