Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
