420 ftw
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
