Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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