I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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