This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
